Inside Out...
Life doesn't give you the people you want, it gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you into the person you are meant to be.
I am starting to wonder if my life was supossed to be bigger. Better. Who would I have been if I had made different choices? What would my life have been if I hadn't escaped my former life to pursue the present one?
I can't imagine that other lost life.
But, what if everything I'd ever known was inverted?
If there is one thing I can say about life it is that it will never take it easy on you. It gives you lessons and its up to you to learn from them and grow stronger and better or be a wimp and cower away from what you know you should do.
The more I train,
The harder I get.
The harder I get,
The more lethal I am.
The more lethal I am,
The fewer the opponents.
The fewer the opponents,
The less to lose.
The less to lose,
The more I let up.
The more I let up,
The more room for mistakes.
The more room for mistakes,
The more I train.
I know that there are many times in my life where I loved to be alone, times where I wanted to be alone. Being alone is very different from being lonely. Being alone can be a great thing, it gives us time to think, to be our authentic self with no one judging us or attempting to entertain us. Being alone at times in your life is very freeing, it gives us a chance to really think. For me, it gives me time to breathe, to talk things out with myself without the distractions of others. Alone time can be very productive and healing.
I had a dream last night about my high school graduation. I woke up this morning and thought about how lucky we were. I thought about the clean slate that we all had and how we could write our dreams and how we had so much time to fulfill them.
When we are young we are often so frivolous with our time. We think we have so much of it to squander. The truth is we don't. You just never know when things can change in an instant. But then again, every day of our lives is in some way is a clean slate to which we can write the story of our lives.
So I starting thinking that perhaps I should wake up each morning with thought of, What shall I write on my slate today? What is important to me today? What would make me happy? What would make me proud?
Someday, I will look back at the story of my life and I don't want to wonder whether or not I lived it to the fullest. I am the writer of my life story.
What will your life story be about? One of accomplishments? Happiness? Love? Or one full of regret?
Trust is one of the most difficult things to give another person. After a person proves themselves trustworthy, we still sometimes struggle with it. And when we struggle, it comes from within. It’s usually not about them but more about us. Past hurts the most likely culprit. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just means the mind is doing its best to learn the lesson. Life is about balance and our job here on earth is to learn that balance. So you learn your lesson about untrustworthy people and now here you are suddenly needing to learn to trust again perhaps for for the first time ever.
How do you do it? How do you reach inside and allow yourself to believe.
Relationships are quite possibly the most complicated things on the earth. We do our best to break them down and simplify them but there are so many variables that it extremely difficult to do.
Love is such a small part of it all. Love in many ways often serves as a complication. You love someone and want to be with them so you allow yourself to stay regardless of the things that are wrong, the needs that are left unfulfilled. Your dream is that they will suddenly want to fulfill those dreams. Things will change. You will be happy with them and love will prevail.
This thinking gets many of us in trouble. Yet it's because we love. The conflict eventually arises out of love for ourselves and love for this other person. This is when we do one of three things, we leave, we ask our partner to fill our needs, or we do the unthinkable and find someone else on the side who will fill our needs.
You see we are all human. All of our "relationship sins" can be easily broken down and explained. Even complicated relationships and all their variables can really be broken down dissected and finally understood.
Relationships revolve around needs. Often when we leave one relationship our next relationship fulfills the need that went missing in the first relationship. The reason for this is that we have identified the need and attracted it to ourselves. So if she cheated on you in the first relationship and you discovered how important it was to you to have her be faithful then your next girl probably will be. And if he didn't like to spend enough time with you in the first relationship and that really hurt you and you identified your need to yourself then the next relationship will probably offer a guy who loves spending time with you. It's really all about understanding and identifying what we need and want.
What complicates this is our sexual drive and the emotional baggage that most of us carry. As long as you are carrying baggage you will not truly be able to account for all of your needs. That baggage can make you feel like you deserve less and clouds many things. Or your baggage can make you have unreal expectations and expect far too much from your partner.
Sorting through that baggage is crucial and one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself! So dig out those bags, throw them up on the bed open the latches and start sorting! Most of that stuff doesn't fit you anymore anyway. Take it to the dump and finally have your suitcase open and ready for a fulfilling relationship just like you desire!
Life is too Short!
Kiss longer, laugh harder, love deeper, smile wider!
