Wow. Life certainly does have a way of throwing you curve balls when you least expect it.

I am always in control. Of my feelings. Of my reactions. Of my actions.

And yet I am finding myself losing it all over the place with him.

He is irresistible. I am slowly losing all sense of what I should or shouldn't be doing.

And yet, I have managed to keep the emotional aspects at bay - how is that possible? How have I become that person?  ¶ 7:13 PM (0) comments

  Enjoy The Silence

It has been a long long week. I'm physically, mentally and psychologically tired. There is just so much to do. So many committments. So much time spent doing... wh knows what.

I miss my sister. We seem to be getting closer, and at the same time, the distance weighs heavy on my heart. I wish I could see her whenever I wanted to. I miss her.

I miss my kids. I wish it had gone differently. I wish I was going to be seeing them next year.

I miss what could have been for this summer.

I miss the talks. I miss the chats. I miss the feeling inside from knowing you might just be thinking about me.

I need a break. I just want to sleep it all away. All of it. The pain, the ache, the depression.

I need a vacation. Somewhere quiet - with a drink and a good book. And maybe someone to share it with - maybe.

I know that I will be ok.

Eventually.

I'm not alone in being busy at life. Most of humanity are busy too. Only some are fortunate enough to be able to finish everything in their day and still have time to go out "drinking". I feel both envious of them, and at the same time feel bad that their days and perhaps nights are spent on such things that exist to distract from real life.

SILENCE.

Say hello to it.

It's really not that bad.  ¶ 9:18 PM (0) comments

  Sometimes I Wish.

Sometimes I wish it were all just that easy. I wish I could just drop everything and go. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel this way, and hope that I could want to live here forever. Sometimes I wish that you would stop telling me what I should do, and just support the things I have done. Sometimes when I lie in the bathtub, I wish I could just float away. Sometimes I wish I would sink. Sometimes I wish that I didn't wish so much. And sometimes I wish that wishes really did come true. Sometimes I wish that I was better at expressing how I feel. Sometimes I wish that my emotional vulnerability wasn't quite so obvious. Sometimes I just wish that things were better.

Sometimes I Wish.  ¶ 4:05 PM (0) comments