I remember

I remember the late night conversations that went into the early morning.
I remember the emails that said so little and so much at the same time.
I remember the first time I looked into your eyes.
I remember the first time I knew you had broken down my walls.
I remember watching Smallville just to see what the fuss was about.
I remember every dream, asleep or awake.
I remember what you were wearing the first time we met.
I remember the phone calls from work.
I remember 50 First Dates.
I remember the first text message you sent me.
I remember late night phone calls, all night phones calls, and ones just to say hi.
I remember the scenerio's and the stories.
I remember everything C.  ¶ 7:57 PM (0) comments

  always leave them wanting more, always leave them wanting more.....

always leave them.

wanting more.

I repeat it over and over again in my head.

always leave them wanting more.

and I try to convince myself that i'm making the right decision.

don't give in. don't do it.

I try not to let myself give in to temptation.

but it's incredibly impossible.

always leave them wanting more.

I have to do it... just this once.

and prove to myself that I can be strong.

but no matter how much I try to tell myself that I should go,

I feel like i'm always leaving them.

and wanting more.

I want more.


Is that a bad thing?  ¶ 2:21 PM (0) comments

  So, I have been finding myself thinking a lot about the past as of late. Perhaps it is that time of year, perhaps it is because I was asked to "sign" some of my kids' yearbooks - which lead me to think about things they would remember - things that were between only us.

I find myself thinking back to my high school days - mostly grade 10 and 11. To the people I held close, and to those I held even closer. And even to those I wish I had held closer. I made a lot of mistakes back then. I was super shy. Super reserved. Super closed off. I guess not much has really changed. But I like to think I know better now.

And yet - I am still shut off to the possibilities of what could happen, and I have become impatient. I was never impatient when it came to people and relationships... and suddenly I need things now, and am out of sorts when people don't react the way I expect them to. Or maybe the way I want them to.

But, things work out as they should. I know that. It just is hard sometimes.  ¶ 8:27 PM (0) comments

  So, I know that things happen for a reason, and we walk down the path's we choose in life and meet people along the way - meet challenges along the way - meet "life" along the way. But I hate this in limbo part - where will I be next year? What will I be doing? Who will I be close to?

Sigh.

Like I said - I know things happen for a reason, but all I am asking for - is the reason!  ¶ 7:01 PM (0) comments