Inside Out...
*************YOU, YOU, YOU***************
1.What is your full name?: Jaime Dawn Guy
2.Nicknames?: Jamma, J, Miss Lynn
3.Age: 26
4.Sex: female
5.Social Security: What am I? Crazy? ok - sometimes
6.Where do you live?: Montreal
7.Siblings and their ages? Amanda 23, John 21
8.Pets: dog, fish
9.Zodiac Sign: Libra
10.Righty or Lefty: Righty
****YOUR LOOKS*********
11.Hair color: brown
12.Eye color: blue
13.Height: 5'7
14.Do you wear contacts or glasses?: No
15.You have any piercings?: ears
16.Do you want more if you do?: nope
17.Do you have a tattoo?: no
18.If so what and where?: n/a
19.Do you wear any rings?: sometimes
20.Do you have a certain fashion you follow?: nope - I'm all over the place
**********JUST LATELY***************
21.How are you today?: tired
22.What pants are you wearing right now?: grey Champion shorts
23.What shirt are you wearing right now?: navy blue t-shirt
23.5. What underwear are you wearing right now?: they are yellow
24.What does your hair look like at the moment?: wet..up...
25.What song are you listening to right now?: The Reason
26.How is the weather right now?: raining
27.Last person you talked to on the phone: my sister
28.Last Dream you can remember: it was about Katie
29.Who are you talking to right now?: no one
30.What time is it?: 10:51pm
************More about YOU!*****************
31.What are the last four digits of your phone number?: 0495
32.If you were a crayon, what color would you want to be?: Blue
33. Have you ever almost died?: no
34.How do you eat an Oreo: in ice cream
35.What's the next CD you are going to buy?: not sure - Avril maybe
36.What religion/denomination are you?: I'm not religious
37.What's the best advice ever given to you?: When you work, work - when you play, play
38.Have you ever won any special awards?: sure
39.What are your future goals?: teach
40.Do you like to dance?: sometimes
41.Worst sickness you ever had?: they all suck
42.What is the stupidest thing you ever done?: Let me get back to you
43.What's your favorite memory?: too many to choose just one
44.If u could change one thing about yourself what would it be?: pessimism
45.How many kids do you want to have?: none - that's why I teach
46.Son's name?: N/A
47.Daughter's name?: N/A
48.Do you do drugs?: Drugs are bad mmmmmmmm K
49.Do you drink?: sometimes
50.What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use?: Fructis
51.What sport do you hate the most?: wrestling
52.What are you most scared of?: failure
53.How many TV's do you have in your house?: a few
54.Do you have your own phone line?: no
55.Do you sleep with a stuffed animals?: yup
56.Have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone: yes
57.Who do you dream about?: depends
58.Who do you tell your dreams to?: no one
59.Who's the loudest friend you have: Chantal I guess
60.Who's the quietest friend: Heather
***********Just qUEstIOns*************
61.Is cheerleading a sport?: sure
62.How many licks does it take to get to the center?: lol
63.Which came first, the chicken or the egg?: Chicken
*************YOU and LOVE***************
64.Do you believe in Love?: some days I do
65.Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?: a few
66.Do you have a crush?: always
67.Who is your crush?: :) My lips are sealed
68.Did you send this to your crush?: I didn't send this to anybody.
69.Where would you like to go on your honeymoon?: who says I'm getting married?
70.What song do you want played at your wedding?: if I don't get mrried not having a wedding
71.What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: Eyes
71.Longest crush: I have crushes now that started YEARS ago!
72.Are you too shy to ask someone out?: depends
73.Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with?: myself
74.Do you find yourself attractive?: sometimes
75.Do you find yourself ugly?: Not ugly
76.Do others find you attractive?: you'd have to ask them
77.Are you a virgin?: at what?
~*^~*Which is worse:*~^*~
78.Making out with Marilyn Manson or Rob Zombie?: not sure
79.What's worse having your tonsils or appendix removed?: appendix
***********Pick One: THIS OR THAT**********
80.Lights on/off: both at different times
81.Do u like snow, sun or rain?: Sun
82.Mickey D's(McDonalds) or BK(Burger King): McDonalds
83.Do u like scary or happy movies better?: Happy
84.Backstreet Boys or NSYNC?: neither
85.On the phone or in person?: both
86.Paper or plastic?: Plastic, save the trees
87.Sausage or pepperoni?: neither
88.Summer or winter?: Summer
89.Hugs or kisses?: hugs
90.Chocolate or white milk: neither
91.Root Beer or Dr. Pepper: neither
92.Glass half full or half empty?: half empty
93.CD or Tape: CD
94.Tape or DVD: DVD
95.Cats or Dogs: dogs
96.Vanilla or Chocolate: neither
97.Skiing or Boarding: neither
98.Day or night: evening
99.Diamond, opal or pearl: saphire
100.sunset or sunrise: sunset
****************Your FAVS*******************
101.Color: blue
102.Food: chcken souvlaki
103.Fast Food: McDonald's
104.Candy: certs
105.Beverage: lemonade
106.Ice Cream Flavor: Oreo
107.Sport?: Basketball
108.Animal: dog
109.Fave type of music?: R&B
110.Song: The Reason
111.Band: too many
112.Fav. Actor or Actress?: Ben Affleck
113.Fav. day of the year?: tomorrow
114.Fav. month?: September
115.tv show?: 24
116.Store: Ikea
117.Scent: the air before it rains
118.Teacher: Miss Laidley
119.Board Game: Cranium
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HAVE you EVER~~~~~~~
120.Loved someone so much it makes you cry?: Yes
121.Drank?: yes
122.Ever gotten dumped?: sure
123.Broken the law?: ya
124.Ran from the cops?: No
125.Stole something?: yup
126.Tried to kill yourself?: no
127.Made yourself throw up?: no
128.Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: No
10 Years Ago, I ...
1. graduated high school!
2. was dating Bobby.
3. loved basketball.
4. was getting ready to go to Vanier.
5. was trying to get my liscence
5 Years Ago, I ...
1. was in the midst of getting my first degree.
2. was a resident of Windsor.
3. had 2 best friends.
4. was applying to Teacher's College
5. spent the summer in Montreal
3 Years Ago, I ...
1. Graduated with my BHK
2. went to camp for the summer
3. went to a Lions game
4. went to camp.
5. stressed out A LOT
2 years ago, I ...
1. was living at home
2. became closer to my brother
3. got my second degree.
4. coached a basketball team.
5. made some new friends.
A Year Ago, I ...
1. was stressing over Teacher testing
2. my brother got engaged!
3. coached a basketball team
4. said goodbye to my Goafer.
5. had to deal with DAFIB
This Year, I ...
1. I had my 10 year reunion!
2. am playing soccer.
3. had my first real teaching job.
4. Heather got married.
5. I have a new best friend.
Yesterday, I ...
1. finished a book.
2. watched a movie.
3. wrote some letters.
4. went for a drive.
5. put my laundry away.
Today, I ...
1. play a soccer game.
2. go to a BBQ
3. sun tan - I mean read outside
4. take the dog for a walk by the water
5. work on the scrapbook
Tomorrow I will ...
1. go to basketball practice.
2. go shopping for a birthday present.
3. make some important phone calls.
4. organize my life
5. clean my room
If wishes were horses
I’d ride a fast one
If wishes were wings
I’d fly wild and free
If wishes were trains
I’d be on the last one
If wishes came true
You’d be loving me
If wishes were blue skies
I’d never get rained on
I’d walk in the sun
Whenever I please
If wishes were dreams
I’d dream the same one
Over and over
Of you loving me
I whisper your name
On each star I see falling
That old wishing well
Gets each penny I find
And every year I blow out every candle
And close my eyes
And wish you were mine
Oh if wishes came true
Then you would be mine
Do you have things that you hold onto simply for comfort's sake - Things that aren't necessary for survival, or for your existence, but are necessary for your heart?
Do you hold on tightly to something much like a child does a stuffed toy or security blanket?
As children most of us have clung to such items of comfort such as a "blanky" or a "binky", or a stuffed animal. In trying to recall such things I realised I can't recall too mnay things like that. My comfort items as a child are very similar to the sorts of items I 'cling' to for comfort now. Special clothes, but mostly things that revolve around the one activity I find the most comforting. Sleep.
My comfort items now are my pillow, my blanket, Ralph and my bed.
I have to always have my own pillow, no matter where my head is resting at night. I used to have to have an extra blanket. Didn't have to be a particular blanket, just an extra one nearby in case I get cold at night. I get cold easily when sleeping. But now I have my duvet - so the extra blanket is no longer needed.
Ralph. Ralph is my "stuffed animal" that I MUST have in order to even have a chance at falling asleep. I must have him under my arm, and oddly, if I wake up in the middle of the night - he is the first thing I think of... where he is if he isn't under my arm. He protects me while I sleep.
All of these things help get me through the tough days. Helps me feel better.
I am in my Comfort Zone.
I'm sick of feeling period.
I'm sick of caring.
I'm sick of loving.
I'm sick of hating.
I'm sick of it all.
Emotion is overrated...
It was my 10 year reunion last weekend. Can you imagine - 10 years since I graduated! It wasn't quite what I imagined it to be. I always had this vision, this image, and it was completely off. Not in a bad way... just the way life works.
I have been thinking about myself in highschool. About my life then. About me then.
I remember "visiting" Bobby by his locker, just to see his smile.
I remember "visiting" Bobby by his locker, just to catch a glimpse of his best friend.
I remember skipping out on math so that we could go get ice cream.
I remember my Blue Slip adventures each day with Ly.
I remember living, dreaming, and eating basketball on a daily basis with the "posse".
I remember waiting for the psycho bus driver on the 205 to take us home after school.
I remember high school dances where we thought we were so cool!
I remember MCMR club and finding excuses not to be in physics.
I remember all night cramming sessions and flat out not studying.
I remember the first day of school uniforms.
I remember morning Dunkin Donuts trips with my sister.
I remember going to Salem and having a blast.
I remember Quebec City and Provincials and the troll and the lucky penny.
I remember everything.
I remember nothing.
I remember.
It's unfortunate that it has been 10 years... and even more unfortunate that it will be 10 more.
Friends
Because of a lot of reasons, I was shocked by how ever-changing friends are. I don't know why things have to change, and I don't begin to understand. Whatever happened to "Friends forever" and "don't ever change"? Were these just ideals that little kids used to write but never meant to be fufilled?
I really don't understand. Is this what the adult world is like? Will it just get gloomier and darker every step of the way, getting increasingly harder to continue? I don't want it to become harder, but I can't really say. I don't think I know anything at all. Which is really sad, but I guess that's the way it is.
I used to believe that friends were the security belt in life. I mean, you can't rely on family--they betray you like all others: parents divorce, parents can abuse, siblings can be resentful and hurt you... you can't trust family, because they're just there because they have no choice. What's to stop them from hurting you?
But friends...friends are people that you choose, and choose you in return. If you have chosen to come together, why would you choose to leave these people that you have chosen? Because of change? Then why do you change? Because of life? Is this the curse of life? That we will always be alone, that everyone is alone from the instant they are born till the moment that they die? Is this life?
Then I don't understand what the point of having friends is. The higher you climb, the farther you fall. Why should I work so hard to make friends just so that they can let me down? Why should I continue to try? I don't think I see much sense in this. Experience has taught me, after all, that the instant you open up to people, you're vulnerable to them. No matter how hard to try to close the doors frantically after that, once you give them the leverage that they need, it's always too late--you can never get away unscathed.
So I was just wondering...what is the point of having friends, or is there no point at all. Are friends really forever, or is this just a childish dream? Are humans really meant to live together, or are we just like wolves? Lonely and cold, seeking company at times, but designed to separate when times get better? Is that who we are?
Things That Annoy Me
1. My computer.
2. People who are always late.
3. Or too early.
4. Beating around the bush.
5. Playing games.
6. People who have a cell phone, and don't bother to turn it on.
7. Favor-askers hinting.
8. Anything I cannot open with my hands or teeth.
9. Long line-ups...and then slow cashiers.
10. Weeds.
11. When the bus doesn't show up.
12. A horrible movie.
13. When people push on the bus.
14. Alarm clocks.
15. People who lie to me.
16. Re-runs.
17. Fingerprints on walls.
18. The color beige.
19. Cocky people.
20. Uncomfortable clothes.
21. Losing.
22. Singing the wrong lyrics.
23. Tuesdays without 24.
24. Getting tickled.
25. Mary-Kate and Ashley.
26. Richard Simmons.
27. Knots.
28. Cheerleaders.
29. Un-tangling anything.
30. People who spit in public.
31. Having a cold.
32. Ignorant people.
33. People not returning borrowed items.
34. When Hotmail isn't working.
35. Polka dots on clothing.
36. When the power goes out.
37. Busy signals.
38. Junk mail.
39. Not understanding something.
40. LOTR obsessions.
41. Teacher's who don't show up on time to get their class.
42. Finding someone already did half the crossword.
43. Knowing only the answers they did.
44. Someone sticking their finger in my drink.
45. Parallel parking.
46. Feet.
47. The radio announcer never telling me who sang that song.
48. People who try to "fix" me.
49. People who make promises they don't keep.
50. Bumpy bus rides.
51. No Miracle Whip left.
52. Cravings.
53. Funerals.
54. People who patronize me.
55. Books with bad endings.
56. Tense moments of quiet.
57. Math.
58. Multiple Choice exams.
59. Losing my keys.
60. Excessive rain.
61. -40 weather.
62. Shallow people.
63. Missing socks.
64. Forgetting my watch.
65. The light bulb burning out.
66. Early morning phone calls.
67. The wrong CD in the case.
68. Headaches.
69. People who get everything done early.
70. Commercials.
71. Missing one piece in a puzzle.
72. Red lights.
73. Wide load trucks.
74. Being put on hold.
75. Sunday drivers on Saturday.
76. Drivers who don't signal.
78. Boring answering machine greetings.
79. Being disappointed.
80. People who ask stupid questions.
81. Having cold feet.
82. When batteries die.
83. Smoke machines.
84. Strobe lights.
85. When pictures don't turn out.
86. Stubbing my toe.
87. Light that is too bright.
88. Sticky candy.
89. Doing the dishes.
90. People who are blissfully happy - all the time.
91. Humidity.
92. Pot holes.
93. Junk mail.
94. Bills.
95. Finding a really cute dress, and finding no more in my size.
96. Folding laundry. There is just no fun game to do with it.
97. Nightmares.
98. Having no more hangers.
99. People who don't spell my name right.
100. This list. Bad mood inducer.
What is your favorite..
gum: Juicy Fruit
restaurant: East Side Mario's
drink: lemonade
season: SUMMER
type of weather: Sun
emotion: happiness
thing to do on a half day: do I have half days?
late-night activity: sleep
city: Montreal
store: Ikea
When was the last time you..
cried: unfortunately - yesterday
played a sport: Sunday
laughed: last night
hugged someone: yesterday
kissed someone: does the 2 cheeks kiss thing count?
felt depressed: yesterday - been a long week
faked sick: been a while
lied: not sure
What was the last..
word you said: bye on the phone
thing you ate: veggie sandwich
song you listened to: Burn by Usher
thing you drank: coke
place you went to: Westpark
movie you saw: Harry Potter
movie you rented: Under the Tuscan Sun
show you attended: Chicago
Who was the last person you..
hugged: Tanya
cried over: Triston
kissed: define kiss
danced with: Steve at he wedding? Unless Cheers counts
shared a secret with: not sure I have any right now
had a sleepover with: Tanya
called: my loan company
were angry with: been a while
couldn't take your eyes off of: Triston's picture :(
Have you ever..
danced in the rain: yes!
kissed someone: yep
done drugs: no
drank alcohol: yes
partied 'til the sun came up: oh yes
had a movie marathon: yes
gone too far on a dare: probably not
spun until you were immensely dizzy: probably
taken a survey quite like this before: probably I do my fair share of these
The build up to today didn't seem to prepare me for what was to come. Absolutely awful. I hope I never have to attend the funeral of a child ever again, for as long as I live... and that being said, Triston, it was an honor knowing you, even if that time was short lived. The court will never be the same again. That is a promise. May you watch over us and smile that beautiful smile of yours...always.
Missing you...
What a weekend...
A life was taken.
Two lives were joined.
A life was born.
Wow.
You will be missed TM
