Friends

Because of a lot of reasons, I was shocked by how ever-changing friends are. I don't know why things have to change, and I don't begin to understand. Whatever happened to "Friends forever" and "don't ever change"? Were these just ideals that little kids used to write but never meant to be fufilled?

I really don't understand. Is this what the adult world is like? Will it just get gloomier and darker every step of the way, getting increasingly harder to continue? I don't want it to become harder, but I can't really say. I don't think I know anything at all. Which is really sad, but I guess that's the way it is.

I used to believe that friends were the security belt in life. I mean, you can't rely on family--they betray you like all others: parents divorce, parents can abuse, siblings can be resentful and hurt you... you can't trust family, because they're just there because they have no choice. What's to stop them from hurting you?

But friends...friends are people that you choose, and choose you in return. If you have chosen to come together, why would you choose to leave these people that you have chosen? Because of change? Then why do you change? Because of life? Is this the curse of life? That we will always be alone, that everyone is alone from the instant they are born till the moment that they die? Is this life?

Then I don't understand what the point of having friends is. The higher you climb, the farther you fall. Why should I work so hard to make friends just so that they can let me down? Why should I continue to try? I don't think I see much sense in this. Experience has taught me, after all, that the instant you open up to people, you're vulnerable to them. No matter how hard to try to close the doors frantically after that, once you give them the leverage that they need, it's always too late--you can never get away unscathed.

So I was just wondering...what is the point of having friends, or is there no point at all. Are friends really forever, or is this just a childish dream? Are humans really meant to live together, or are we just like wolves? Lonely and cold, seeking company at times, but designed to separate when times get better? Is that who we are?
  ¶ 8:52 PM