I try not to ever allow myself to get my hopes up, about anything. And yet I do, somehow. And then I minimize it, because I can't allow it to be too important, just in case. One of my many faults. I can either not make it important, and be ok if it doesn't work out, or build it up, and then be let down when it doesn't happen.

This is a big opportunity for me. This could be my foot in the door. Not sure if people understand that. I know it doesn't sound like much to some, but this is a big deal to me. This could be the break I have been looking for.

Maybe I don't tell people, because I fear they won't be as excited about it as I am. I don't get excited about much - for the same reasons I don't get my hope up... but when I do get excited, I want others to be excited too. Even if that is only for me. Not sure I get the reactions I would like. Makes me think twice about doing it again.

Reminds me of Provincial's weekend. 2 giant steps back...things haven't been the same since.
  ¶ 11:01 PM