It's horrible to realize that you have been lying to yourself for a long time. And the truth is horrible, too much so to accept, so you just bury yourself deeper and deeper in the layers of self deception, so far down that even if you wanted to know the truth, you couldn't find it anymore.

It's horrible to feel that you can no longer trust yourself, and wish you had someone to depend on, but there is nobody there because you pushed them all away when you were still laboring under the delusions that you were good enough for yourself. And so then you're stuck in the trap and sinking deeper and you're the only person you have, but you're not enough.

You're just not enough.  ¶ 7:45 PM